


Needing to be Needed

by helens78



Category: Natural Nylon RPF, Star Wars RPF
Genre: Angst, M/M, Wall Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-11-29
Updated: 2004-11-29
Packaged: 2017-10-05 11:43:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 882
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/41404
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/helens78/pseuds/helens78
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ewan goes to Liam when he needs to stop thinking.  Liam must get something out of this, too, but he won't talk about it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Needing to be Needed

Ewan doesn't know how they got here. Pressed between brick and body, with teeth digging into the back of his neck, he's not sure how he got anywhere at all. At some point he must have got out of bed, got dressed, taken the bike out and ended up at the bar, but he doesn't remember the ride. Was there an invitation? Was it someone's idea? He doesn't think so. He'd rather believe it was coincidence, the two of them needing the same thing at the same time.

He doesn't think he bothered to make a phone call after Jude left; he was out the door himself the moment Jude's car was out of sight. Out the door, on his bike, winding through streets until he got here, Liam already waiting for him at the bar. A quick look to the back door and there wasn't any talking. Just Ewan with his jeans around his thighs and Liam pounding into him.

"Please." He's not supposed to beg. "Harder." He's not supposed to ask for that. He shouldn't really be out here, shouldn't be letting someone else fuck him 'til he's begging, but Jude won't ask where the bruises came from and Ewan can't stand the thought of being home alone right now. Home _alone_. What the fuck? Who says _I love you_ and then goes home to his _wife_?

_Enough enough enough enough._ Ewan slams his hands into the brick and shoves back against Liam. "More, come on, more, please, harder. _Please._" Harder. More. Faster. Deeper. He knows these aren't words Liam gets at home. He knows it's why Liam still meets him in dark alleys, shoves him into brick. Liam makes it seem like it isn't Ewan's choice, though, that Ewan can say _more_ all he wants and if Liam wants him nice and slow and easy, Ewan had damned well better be satisfied with that.

Except he's not. "_Harder._" Ewan's hand comes off the wall, digs into Liam's on his hip. "Come on, let me feel it. _Please._"

Liam tangles his free hand in Ewan's hair and slams his cheek against brick. "You don't get to decide."

"Fuck you."

"Stop it."

They both wait, panting, catching their breath as heartbeats slow and blood cools just a fraction.

Liam moves first, jerking his hand out from under Ewan's and wrapping it around his chest instead. Ewan lets himself sink into Liam's embrace, closing his eyes completely.

"What is it tonight?" Liam whispers. "Why are you here?"

"He told me he loves me." Ewan curls forward, but there's nowhere to go. He rests his head on his arms, against the wall, tightening his body around Liam's cock. "Don't make me talk. Just fuck this out of me so I can go home."

Liam puts his forearms on the wall next to Ewan's. He doesn't try to talk more. He doesn't ask any questions about what Ewan's just said. And the fuck is hard, brutal, cruel the way it would be if Liam genuinely didn't give a damn about him. It's all the things Ewan needed to feel, and all the things Liam's said -- when they're not in alleys -- that he never gets to give anyone.

Liam collapses against Ewan's back at the end of it, teeth still buried in Ewan's shoulder.

"What about you?" Ewan whispers.

Liam untangles his teeth from the fabric. "You're not supposed to ask that."

"I know." Ewan's chest feels tight, feels constricted all to hell and back. "Will this help?"

"For a while. Stop asking questions." Liam pulls back, gets himself cleaned up while Ewan rearranges his clothing. When Ewan looks at him again, Liam grunts, sounding exasperated. "It's all right, Ewan. I'm fine."

_You're not._ But they've had this argument before, and while Liam will fuck his frustration into Ewan at any given moment, he won't talk about it. Not for more than six words at a time.

"All right, then, look. Call me. If you need anything, if you want someone who'll just drop everything for a few hours to listen to you, I'd--"

"You know I won't." Liam is quiet, and he steps back, leans his shoulders against the wall on the other side of the alley. "You know I won't; why do you offer?"

Ewan looks straight up, wishing he could see more than smoke. "Because I take home so much more from these nights than you do."

Liam laughs. He comes across the alley, puts his hands on Ewan's shoulders and regards him for a moment. Then he's pressing his lips to Ewan's forehead and murmuring out words.

"You don't. I promise. If there were anyone I could talk to, I'd talk to you."

Ewan brings both hands up and settles them on Liam's arms. "Thank you." It's not enough -- it's one of those promises that looks good on paper but sounds empty to the ear -- but at least it's something. It's more than he walked into the alley with, at any rate.

"Thank you, too." Liam squeezes Ewan's shoulders. "Can you get home?"

"Yeah." And that's the end of the evening; that's what he came here, what Liam followed him out to the alley for. Ewan doesn't mind; the abruptness makes it easier going home. "Good night, Liam."

"Good night."

_-end-_


End file.
